ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
