Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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