so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
