Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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