everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
