eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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