i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
