You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
