you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
last night I used snow as a chaser
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
