She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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