We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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