I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
