We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
