He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
My ass is underappreciated
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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