don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
