Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
