How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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