You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Text me some of your sweat
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So apparently I’m into choking now
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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