Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Randomize
