you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
