Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
