you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
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