weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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