Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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