So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
