Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize