just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
The air was thick with penises
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
