Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I smell like Dick and happiness
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize