Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
