I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
