I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
