You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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