weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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