No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
