I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
