you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
