The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
