its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
