Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
