We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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