Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize