Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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