I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
