just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
