How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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