Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
