is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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