this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
