Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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