Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
