would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
