let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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