Pappa wants mamma naked
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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