new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
