I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
