Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
