we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
