After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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