The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
