Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize