So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
ttyl tear gas
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
