her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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