Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
