I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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