Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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