my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize