omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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