In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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