Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
