I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
