I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
