Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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