Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
