The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
