i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
