I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
