when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
