I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
